10 good reasons to vote for the PAP

Here’s the best of the best – the top 10 reasons to vote for the People’s Action Party (PAP) in the upcoming General Election:

1) No need for safe distancing in the House – Parliament sittings are usually quite empty because PAP MPs are busy with other stuff

2) The GST can be raised sooner rather than later

3) Somebody’s salary can remain a state secret

4) Preservation of ownself check ownself – world-class concept!

5) Preservation of ownself praise ownself – yet another world-class concept!

6) Hear teary-eyed stories about how our founding fathers defeated the communists and brought independence to Singapore

7) Hear teary-eyed stories about the sacrifices of our Pioneer and Merdeka Generation who built this great nation

8) Sing NDP songs along with the men and women in white

9) Learn about fascinating new stuff – like cotton comes from sheep and you need a very small space to have sex

10) No need to think – just go BAAAAAHH!!! and mark a cross next to the lightning symbol