Reddit user alleges brother-in-law secretly recorded her showering, asks for advice on what to do

SINGAPORE: A Reddit user recently shared her troubling experience, seeking advice on whether she could report her brother-in-law for secretly recording her while she was showering. In a post uploaded on Wednesday (11 Sept), she explained that she lives with her family, including her pregnant sister and her sister's boyfriend, who are staying with them while waiting for their Build-To-Order (BTO) flat. The incident occurred one night when she was showering in a bathroom with a faulty door. To avoid disturbing her family with the loud noise caused by locking the door, she left it unlocked. During her shower, she heard knocking and tapping sounds from the bathroom door. When she looked out through the sliding door that separated the wet and dry areas, she saw a phone peeking over the top of the door. Shocked, she quickly closed the sliding door. Afterwards, she felt overwhelmed and debated whether to inform her family. She also feared that her sister might have been a victim of the same behaviour. Seeking advice, she asked on Reddit whether she could file a police report, and how the police might handle the situation if evidence had been deleted or if her brother-in-law denied it.

Netizens urge user to report incident

In response to her story on Reddit, many netizens encouraged the user to report the incident to the police. One user strongly urged her to make a police report, stating, "You will only be enabling the criminal to commit future crimes if you let it slide." They explained that the police would record her statement and possibly confiscate the suspect's mobile device for forensic IT investigations. The Redditor reassured her that even if the data had been deleted, it was still possible for the police to retrieve timestamps of recordings or detect suspicious activity, such as deleting files at certain times. They added that lodging a police report would serve as a precedent if the suspect engaged in similar behaviour in the future. The user was also advised to confide in a trustworthy family member or friend for support when filing the report. Another user mentioned that she did not need to leave her room to make a report, as it could be done via the police website using Singpass, or by calling 999. Additionally, one user recommended contacting the AWARE hotline for victims of sexual assault, particularly if her family was not supportive.

User files police report despite family’s reaction

In a subsequent update, the user thanked netizens for their support and confirmed that she had informed her family and filed a police report. She shared that her brother-in-law had contacted her mother, indicating he was aware of being discovered. Despite this, the user expressed frustration with her family's response. Her sister suggested that informing the family was punishment enough for her husband, and her parents urged her to "calm down" and reconsider filing the report. The user felt disappointed by their lack of empathy, suspecting cultural norms may have influenced their reaction.

Netizens support user’s decision

In further responses, many netizens backed her decision to report the incident, assuring her that none of the blame rested on her. One user praised her for being brave and doing the right thing by reporting the incident to the police, noting that "saving face" is a common cultural practice. They added that the family should realise the true fault lay with the brother-in-law, describing him as a "pervert" and stating that no one should side with such behaviour. Others reassured her that the family was already damaged by her brother-in-law's behaviour, and that she had made the right choice. A user expressed relief that she had filed the report, advising her not to feel guilty or be swayed by her family's attempts to dissuade her. They pointed out that many cases go unreported due to the desire to "save face" or "give someone a chance." The user added that her brother-in-law's behaviour was likely not an isolated incident and praised her for taking the right steps to protect herself and others.