• About Us
    • Fact Checking Policy
    • Ownership & funding information
    • Volunteer
  • Subscribe
  • Letter submission
    • Submissions Policy
  • Contact Us
The Online Citizen Asia
  • Opinion
    • Editorial
    • Commentaries
    • Letters
    • Comments
  • Current Affairs
    • Singapore
    • Malaysia
    • Indonesia
    • China
    • ASEAN
    • Asia
    • International
  • Finance
    • Economics
    • Labour
    • Property
    • Business
  • Community
    • Arts & Culture
    • Consumer Watch
    • NGO
    • Lifestyle
    • Travel
  • Politics
    • Civil Society
    • Parliament
    • Transport
    • Education
    • Environment
    • Health
    • Housing
  • Law & Order
    • Legislation
    • Court Cases
No Result
View All Result
  • Opinion
    • Editorial
    • Commentaries
    • Letters
    • Comments
  • Current Affairs
    • Singapore
    • Malaysia
    • Indonesia
    • China
    • ASEAN
    • Asia
    • International
  • Finance
    • Economics
    • Labour
    • Property
    • Business
  • Community
    • Arts & Culture
    • Consumer Watch
    • NGO
    • Lifestyle
    • Travel
  • Politics
    • Civil Society
    • Parliament
    • Transport
    • Education
    • Environment
    • Health
    • Housing
  • Law & Order
    • Legislation
    • Court Cases
No Result
View All Result
The Online Citizen Asia
No Result
View All Result

Safe, safe, city, or, O Mr Kishore Mahbubani!

by onlinecitizen
16/07/2009
in Current Affairs
Reading Time: 5 mins read
0

KJ

Singapore is a safe city, we like to say. Say it often enough, loudly enough, and strangely, it becomes actual enough, safe in our factual fantasy.

Singapore is a safe city, because there is ‘an absence of desperate poverty’, says Kishore Mahbubani.[1] Singapore is a safe city, because ‘the government has created an ‘ecosystem’ that resulted in this high level of personal safety.’ In safe city Singapore, there is low crime, few murders. Singaporeans earn their daily bread, diligently, honestly, safely. Because of the government, there’s enough bread to go around, unlike places like Switzerland and New York City, where Mr Kishore Mahbubani was almost mugged mercilessly. Singapore is a safe city.

***

Singapore is a safe city. The mornings are calm and the streets are orderly. We’re not like those willy-nilly liberal democracies, where crazy rioters run amok almost, like, daily. We have little patience for such fluffy frivolities. Singapore is a safe city. Three’s a crowd and two’s a company, and one is now an illegal assembly. Ask for permission to speak publicly, lest you be rounded into prison, seething privately. Refrain from speaking up for the downtrodden, like foreign workers or the Opposition, however they tempt you seditiously, for you might be detained, indefinitely, by Internal Security.

***

Singapore is a safe city because of its ‘tough attitudes on law and order’, says Kishore Mahbubani. In safe city Singapore, we whip teenage boys for being teenage boys, and we hang drug mules on transit, young as a foal, foolish as the young. No foreign president or prime minister can persuade a presidential pardon. Because Singapore is a safe city. What is one death amidst so much safety? Safe city Singapore depends on draconian laws executed punitively. Laws that hover above our city, keeping Singapore safe, safe-keeping our thriving economy, compromising neither sovereignty nor survivability.

***

Singapore is a safe city. We’re an international financial centre, located strategically in a region of endless opportunities. Billions of dollars of private wealth funds are parked here safely. VIPs visit us regularly, like Burma’s Prime Minister General Soe Win, and Zimbabwe’s Mr Mugabe. Singapore is a safe city. Dictators and their cronies come here for our medical facilities, our shopping and dining activities. Singapore is a safe city. Get well soon and enjoy our hospitality, beloved friends and unnamable cronies. The holiday will do you good, surely. Singapore is a safe city. The powerful are protected, and the powerful go scot-free. All these are made known publicly. There is no lack at all of transparency.

***

Singapore is a safe city. There are no famines, tsunamis, or other unthinkable catastrophes. Our water is safe to drink, and our enemies are kept at bay. Singapore is a safe city. There are no wars here, as NS is made compulsory. We have a strong and mighty army, standing and waiting, ever on the ready. Singapore is a safe city. Except, maybe, when army boys die while on serious duty. Killed by a grenade or collided with a frigate, dunked by compatriots or crushed by a Rover. But all these are rather secondary, really, because Singapore is a safe city, must be a safe city. That’s why NS is made compulsory – a dire necessity – even if our boys might die while on peace-time duty. It’s all for the sake of our beloved country, Singapore, the safe, safe, city.

***

Singapore is a safe city. The government plays it safe, and safety measures are taken seriously. Key institutions of the state, from the bureaucracy to the judiciary to the universities, are bosom buddies of our unique democracy. Our main and only press is headed by a former minister, and our newspaper editors are hired from our spy agencies. Singapore is a safe city, and safety measures are taken seriously. Even when our first-rate bureaucracy has been deemed sloppy: ‘Lax in managing public funds and opt for convenience’, thunders the Auditor-General fiercely. It seems more like a dereliction of duty, but it is not the civil servants’ fault, surely. Because Singapore is a safe city, and our bookish bureaucracy is only playing it safe. Imbibing the safety manual, going by the book, prudently, meekly, safely.

***

Singapore is a safe city. But ‘despite all our successes’, Singaporeans ‘should not be complacent’, says Kishore Mahbubani. Indeed, we must not. We must be on our toes and we must pull up our socks. But we must also toe the line, and we must not rock the boat too much. Otherwise, waves of clear and present danger will arise, and Singapore, the safe city, will perish just quite easily. Singapore is a safe city. But O such fragility. Naturally, Singaporeans play it safely, and safety measures are taken just as seriously. We shift our glances as we whisper about the PAP. We clam up when we’re invited by the Opposition parties. We follow the rules and do as we’re told. We keep up with the Joneses and we keep down our high jinks. Give us this day our OB markers, and forgive us our careless trespasses. Lead us not into Sedition, but deliver us away from Perdition. This way, Singapore will be a safe city, is a safe city, and Singaporeans will be brought to salvation – by the PAP – eventually.

***

Singapore is a safe city. Say it often enough, loudly enough, hopefully and daily, and it might become a miracle of the Singapore Story. In a city of drones, how unsafe can it get, seriously.

But what do you say, Mr Kishore Mahbubani, if I don’t want to live in a safe city, where the voices are silenced, T-shirts are imprisoned, and human beings hanged. What do you say, Mr Kishore Mahbubani, if I don’t want to live in a safe city, that forces upon me the false dichotomy, of liberty versus poverty, of ruling party over democracy. What do you say, Mr Kishore Mahbubani, if I don’t want to live in a safe city, safe to the point of stifling sterility, safe in a pool of nauseating conformity, safe in a tomb of deadly mediocrity. O Mr Kishore Mahbubani, hallowed be thy name, thy Singapore come, thy will be done. Lead me not into this safe, safe, city, but save me from this insane, insufferable, imperialism of safety.


[1] Kishore Mahbubani, “Why S’pore Enjoys a Low Crime Rate”, The Straits Times, 15 July 2009.

For just US$7.50 a month, sign up as a subscriber on The Online Citizen Asia (and enjoy ads-free experience on our site) to support our mission to transform TOC into an alternative mainstream press.
Tags: Singapore

Related Posts

Hong Kong media tycoon Lai arrested over speedboat fugitives: reports
Asia

Hong Kong media outlet, broadcaster and artist all quit city

03/08/2021
Current Affairs

Singapore-Malaysia cross-border travel applications full for first 3 days of Aug 17 – 19

14/08/2020
Current Affairs

Singapore will gradually reopen its borders with Malaysia: Vivian Balakrishnan

24/06/2020
Lifestyle

Singaporean university graduate pays off student loan through sugar dating

06/01/2020
Law & Order

Why 2 of the Judges Who Ruled on the Marsiling-Yew Tee By-election Case Should Not Have Done So

12/04/2019
E-cigarette
Health

The need to look at the use of alternative tobacco products to quit smoking

19/12/2018
Subscribe
Connect withD
Login
I allow to create an account
When you login first time using a Social Login button, we collect your account public profile information shared by Social Login provider, based on your privacy settings. We also get your email address to automatically create an account for you in our website. Once your account is created, you'll be logged-in to this account.
DisagreeAgree
Notify of
Connect withD
I allow to create an account
When you login first time using a Social Login button, we collect your account public profile information shared by Social Login provider, based on your privacy settings. We also get your email address to automatically create an account for you in our website. Once your account is created, you'll be logged-in to this account.
DisagreeAgree
0 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments

Latest posts

Opposition parties greet Singaporeans during CNY festive season

Opposition parties greet Singaporeans during CNY festive season

30/01/2023
Big C and DHL Supply Chain Thailand deploys electric trucks in joint collaboration to reduce carbon emissions

Big C and DHL Supply Chain Thailand deploys electric trucks in joint collaboration to reduce carbon emissions

30/01/2023
Gandhi’s killer a hero to India’s diehard Hindu nationalists

Gandhi’s killer a hero to India’s diehard Hindu nationalists

30/01/2023
Temasek and GIC reportedly in talks with Adani Group accused of “brazen” market manipulation and accounting fraud

Adani Group releases 413-paged response against allegations of “brazen” market manipulation and accounting fraud

30/01/2023
Singapore warns slower economic growth in 2023

Less than 1 in 10 jobs created in first three quarters of 2022 went to Singaporeans?

28/01/2023
Peru Congress rejects president’s plan for early elections

Peru Congress rejects president’s plan for early elections

28/01/2023
UMNO purging members as it sacks former health minister Khairy and suspended ex-defence minister Hishammuddin

UMNO purging members as it sacks former health minister Khairy and suspended ex-defence minister Hishammuddin

28/01/2023
WHO panel in talks on COVID emergency status

WHO panel in talks on COVID emergency status

27/01/2023

Trending posts

Two Indian nationals paid about S$330 and S$730 respectively for forged certificates submitted in their S-Pass application

MOM found issuing EPs meant for foreign PMETs to PRC waitress and general worker

by Correspondent
26/01/2023
40

...

Earning only S$400 a month, delivery-rider turned hawker threw in the towel after two years of running a rojak stall

Earning only S$400 a month, delivery-rider turned hawker threw in the towel after two years of running a rojak stall

by Yee Loon
26/01/2023
24

...

Ho Ching breaks silence over Temasek’s write down of its US$275 million investment in FTX, says it “can afford to be contrarian”

US regulator questions VCs’ due diligence work prior to investing in FTX; Ho Ching says Temasek can afford to be contrarian

by The Online Citizen
24/01/2023
28

...

Indian rupee falls 60% since signing of CECA while Singapore becomes top investor in India

by Correspondent
25/01/2023
59

...

Temasek and GIC reportedly in talks with Adani Group accused of “brazen” market manipulation and accounting fraud

Temasek and GIC reportedly in talks with Adani Group accused of “brazen” market manipulation and accounting fraud

by The Online Citizen
26/01/2023
49

...

Safe, safe, city, or, O Mr Kishore Mahbubani!

by onlinecitizen
16/07/2009
0

...

July 2009
M T W T F S S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  
« Jun   Aug »
  • About Us
  • Subscribe
  • Letter submission
  • Contact Us

© 2006 - 2021 The Online Citizen

No Result
View All Result
  • Opinion
    • Editorial
    • Commentaries
    • Comments
  • Current Affairs
    • Malaysia
    • Indonesia
    • China
    • ASEAN
    • Asia
    • International
  • Finance
    • Economics
    • Labour
    • Property
    • Business
  • Community
    • Civil Society
    • Arts & Culture
    • Consumer Watch
    • NGO
  • Politics
    • Parliament
    • Transport
    • Education
    • Environment
    • Health
    • Housing
  • Law & Order
    • Legislation
    • Court Cases
  • Lifestyle
    • Travel
  • Subscribers login

© 2006 - 2021 The Online Citizen

wpDiscuz