Red Tiger

Sonia Suka

So the Tiger who is touted as the most successful golfer in history is actually a cheetah…erm I mean cheater – and he clearly has a thing for red.

Perhaps after the major upset at the hands of Yang Yong-eun, Tiger thought that he needed some of the luck the East Asians have been having lately.  After all, the Malaysian Chinese women are known for snapping up red panties for good luck during the Lunar New Year season.

Perchance, the red he sees before his games begin (or do the games actually begin before it begins?) may actually help the Tiger to deflect the evil emanating from other golfers.  According to one blogger a single pair of red panties apparently hangs in the window or balcony of some homes in every Chinese city – to ward of the evil-eye.

Maybe, he just needed to be psyched-up before every game, to send a strong signal, a warning to the other golfers – don’t mess with me! Don’t even try! And seeing red before a tournament must have helped.

After all an old lady’s warning to the Thai military, “Listen to me, soldiers. If you dare try another coup, forget about getting roses, because I will dress myself entirely in red – red hair, red panties, red bra, red fingernails – and jump in front of your tanks. You will have to run over me, a grass-roots woman, and crush me to death”, was apparently taken seriously enough to be quoted on BBC News.

No wonder the Tiger has 4 Nike Golf polo shirts in his closets. He has won 37 tournaments wearing red.

Now wait a minute, is that the real reason why the Singapore Democratic Party (SDP) recently changed their uniform to a red-polo shirt?

For all one knows, the Men In White themselves may be wearing some red underneath for good luck. After all they do have a red lightning. But wait a minute; wearing a pair of red underneath a pair of white pants is almost sure to result in some colour showing through.

But hey, the year of the tiger is almost upon us, perhaps we should all buy red panties with tiger imprint and fly it from our bamboo poles.

Is any entrepreneur out there reading all this?