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Netizens share stories of toxic parents, call for mutual filial piety
An article published on CNA TODAY exploring the rising trend of adult children distancing themselves from toxic parents sparked widespread discussion on social media.
Many shared personal stories of emotional and physical abuse, emphasising the long-term impact on mental health, calling for mutual filial piety, and advocating for affordable housing options for young individuals seeking independence from toxic family environments.

On 27 December, CNA TODAY published an article discussing the growing phenomenon of adult children choosing to estrange themselves from their parents due to toxic or harmful relationships. It highlights the personal stories of individuals who have experienced emotional abuse, neglect, and a lack of affection from their parents, leading them to sever ties for their own well-being.
The article sparked widespread discussion on social media. Some shared personal stories of growing up with toxic parents, highlighting the long-term impact of emotional and physical abuse, calling for mutual filial piety, and advocating for affordable housing options for young individuals seeking independence from toxic family environments.
CNA TODAY interviewed young adults who shared their personal ordeals, including experiences of childhood trauma, such as neglect or abuse, and how these affected their adult lives and relationships.
For example, two women interviewed shared how they endured traumatic childhood environments, where physical abuse, emotional manipulation, and a lack of love were prevalent, ultimately leading them to cut ties with their parents.
One of the women, Carla, experienced physical violence from her father, including incidents where she was beaten to the point of bleeding, which compounded her emotional trauma.
Her fear of angering him over minor matters, such as leaving a light on, and the constant anxiety of his unpredictable outbursts, significantly impacted her career and mental health.
The absence of emotional support from her father—who dismissed her emotional needs as a “woman’s issue”—left her feeling isolated and unimportant, with a maternal figure who was a hired domestic worker rather than a real connection.
Mr Neo, a supply chain manager, recounted the emotional turmoil caused by his parents’ extramarital affairs, conflicts, and eventual divorce when he was eight.
Living with his remarried mother, he endured neglect, favouritism towards his half-sibling, and isolation, which worsened when his mother attempted to sabotage his romantic relationship.
Despite these hardships, he showed maturity by offering financial and emotional support to his half-sister during his mother’s second divorce, only to be disillusioned by his mother’s refusal to share responsibilities.
Tensions escalated when she demanded a large portion of his salary and publicly shamed him for refusing, leading him to sever ties and tell her not to contact him unless on her deathbed.
The article also examines the challenges to traditional filial piety, highlighting how cultural expectations of respecting parents can conflict with the experiences of those who faced abuse or neglect, impacting their mental health and personal lives.
Netizens Share Stories of Toxic Parents, Call for Mutual Filial Piety
Observing comments on CNA’s Facebook post and a Reddit discussion thread, some netizens shared their personal childhood ordeals with toxic parents, echoing the sentiment that filial piety should be mutual. They also highlighted the alarming impact that toxic and manipulative parental relationships can have on an individual’s upbringing and mental health.
A netizen’s comment shared personal struggles with an abusive and complicated childhood, including abandonment, parental gambling issues, and living with an abusive relative.
She discuss the long-term effects of trauma, such as depression, self-harm, and patterns of unhealthy relationships, as well as how their mother’s late apology on her deathbed brought a sense of relief and closure.
“I truly appreciated that apology even though it came too late. Changed my life even more ever since. ”
Despite acknowledging that some traumas are irreparable, the netizen express empathy for others, recognising that everyone faces their own battles in life.
The Lasting Impact of Emotional and Mental Abuse
Some highlighted how emotional and mental abuse, including guilt trips and criticism, can have profound and lasting effects on a child’s mental health.
She commended young individuals who have chosen to prioritise their mental well-being by stepping away from toxic family dynamics, recognising the bravery it takes to do so.
Drawing from personal experience, the comment shared that it took her over 20 years to realise that adhering to filial piety for co-dependent narcissistic parents was not conducive to their healing journey.
Another netizen echoed similar sentiments, sharing that she recently walked away from their narcissistic mother this year.
She described the difficulty of confronting the lies their mother told, including false claims about never abusing them, fabrications about her past, and the biggest deception—that she was an honest person. Both the netizen and her brother are now undergoing therapy to cope with the impact of their experiences.
Advocating for Affordable Housing Options for Singles Under 35 to Escape Toxic Family Environments
A comment seen on a Reddit thread shared account of growing up with a psychopathic and controlling father, describing years of emotional abuse, manipulation, and neglect.
He detailed experiences such as being demeaned and categorized as “scum,” denied the opportunity to pursue higher education, and having his savings stolen under false pretenses.
The netizen also highlighted the emotional toll of living in an environment where his father prioritized his public image over their well-being and failed to provide even basic necessities like food.
The netizen concluded by expressing frustration with societal expectations of gratitude towards abusive parents and their struggle to find housing independence, calling for HDB to create affordable housing options for single individuals under 35.
Urging Society to Treat Children with Respect and Dignity
Another comment shared a painful account of abusive childhood, detailing how his mother’s reckless behaviour and anger led to regular physical violence.
He described a cycle of emotional manipulation, where their mother compared her actions to the hardworking, self-sacrificial mothers portrayed on TV, then justified her violent behavior as punishment for perceived wrongs.
The netizen highlighted the addictive nature of anger and violence, urging society to stop excusing such behaviour and to treat children with the same respect and dignity as other human beings.
The Debate Over Filial Piety and Parental Abuse
However, a netizen named “Raymund Francis” suggested that younger people today have a diminished sense of piety and are more likely to distance themselves from their parents, using the excuse, “I do not need them.”
He emphasised that in older generations, regardless of how parents treated their children, the expectation was to honour them without holding grudges.
His remark was met with disagreement, with some highlighting that emotional and physical abuse should not be overlooked. Others pointed out that while discipline, such as caning and scolding, differs from abuse, it is important not to dismiss the trauma some children endure.
Raymund countered that his comments were intended to reflect broader generational views on piety, rather than addressing the specific cases of abuse highlighted in the report.

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