Friday, 29 September 2023

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自闭儿一年失踪12次引起议论 网民吁更多同理心促进理解

将心比心真的很重要。近日一名女子硬闯地铁站一事,引起网友议论,在此前,网民纷纷指责女子鲁莽的危险行为,但随后出现转折,昨日有名声称是女子的朋友出面替女子解释,当时因为女子的妹妹患有自闭症,先冲进车厢内,而女子紧跟在后,却赶不及,所以才会出此下策,希望能获得大家的理解。尽管帖文已经被删除,无法确认事实的真相,但仍有许多网民也纷纷向女子致歉,因在此时予以更多的理解。

显然,在这个社会,当出现似乎“不道德”行为之际,容易先下定论并予以斥责,这种现象并不少见。网媒Mothership也在今日报道相关课题,内文指出,一名患有自闭症的17岁少年因在今年内共失踪了12次,引起一些非议。

自闭症孩子一年内失踪12次引起网友非议

在失踪期间,家人常常透过Reunite Missing Children的脸书专页发出寻人启事,并经常需要寻求警方的帮忙,一开始大家都会很迫切协助,但因次数太多,使人开始渐渐怀疑家长的照顾能力,包括 为什么Bingjie的失踪次数如此高;为什么家长不看紧他;难道家长不会让他带上追踪器吗等等的疑问。

Reunite Missing Children脸书专页是自闭症家长的互助团体,由于自闭症孩子会冲动行为可能会出现致使孩子失踪,因此自闭症孩子的家长会形成互助团体,透过社区与网络平台的力量协助寻回孩子。

该网页是由一名自闭症家长Meilan所开始,随后加入数位家长一同经营网页,其中一名家长就是Bingjie 的父母Bob Lee 。

在Bingjie的失踪事件引起关注后,Bob Lee亦向大家解释孩子的情况,并想透过此次机会让网友认识身为自闭症的照顾者是一种什么样的体验。

根据Bob Lee的说法,患有自闭症的人会出现冲动症状,当他们看见自己感兴趣的事情例如电力、MRT列车或者其他旋转物时,他们第一反应是会冲向那些他们感兴趣的事情,甚至会忽略他们的安全。

而Bingjie虽然已经是17岁的少年,也有1米7的高度,看似不再是小孩,但却无法控制自己的行为,加上父母已年过半百,已不如当年强壮,无法有力看管Bingjie,就算Bingjie带上追踪器,他也可能因为不喜欢而摘下。

另外,其父母解释Bingjie其实是有搭乘公共运输的能力,但也容易在远程中迷路。一次Bingjie从红山地铁站去樟宜机场,最终却在回程中迷路;还有一次Bingjie已失踪好几天,最终发现他正在新加坡河里游泳。

Bob Lee 呼吁不要在看到事情的表面时,就下定论,在照顾自闭症小孩的路上,其实需要的是更多的善意和理解,才会带给照顾者与孩子更好的生活。

他也贴出网友Esther Chia最具同理心的回应,“在你对自闭症孩子的“失踪”下定论前,你可以去体验看看当一天自闭症孩子照顾者的生活是多么辛苦,他们其实需要的是支持和帮助,不是评断。网友的评语让他十分感动。

将心比心,停止用“站在道德的制高点指责别人”

从上述两件事可得知,我们很习惯用“站在道德的制高点指责别人”,所以才会在事情发生的当下去判断行为的对错,这使我们忽略了造成行为发生的脉络与背后因素,加上对特殊病情的缺乏了解,才会导致我们无法真正理解这些特殊孩子的行为。

只有培养好自己的同理心,至少在下评论前先想想或许是有什么原因造成,换位思考,试图先去理解背后的原因,你才有办法将关心转化为行动,减少对事情的评论。

同理心(英语:empathy)或称做換位思考,是一种将自己置于他人的位置、並能夠理解或感受他人在其框架內所经历的事物的能力。 同理心与同情心並不相同。 同理心指能夠站在对方立场设身处地思考,与人际交往过程中能够体会他人的情绪和想法、理解他人的立场和感受,并站在他人的角度思考和处理问题。

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