Sunday, 1 October 2023

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MSF should have helped gay father in his adoption request and not hindered his fatherhood journey

by Martin Piper

I write with regards to the news about the Supreme Court approving the adoption of a gay father’s son. This was despite the Ministry of Social Family Development initially denying the adoption request.
I’m lucky, I’m Singaporean, I’ve been able to marry to the person I love, watch my wonderful daughter be born and I’m proud to see her grow into someone very special.
I like to think, I hope, that these experiences and drives are common throughout humanity and it’s what binds society together. If I die and someone asks about me then I’d like them to know that for me building a family fills me with contentment so profound it’s difficult to describe.
I don’t know the gay father personally, but I do feel some kinship for how hard he has had to battle and how much drive that demonstrates, how much strength of character he must have, that he must be a good father.
To the naysayers, especially those religious “leaders” who publicly misquote passages from their versions of holy books specifically to denigrate the family just because it’s different; I would point out that previous generations of “holy men” used to do that with racial minorities and their “different” families. Similar “leaders” would speak out against mixed religion families too. I find it hard to stomach that they would claim their books are about love when they apparently wish to interfere and drive a wedge between their different family and the rest of society. To be bluntly honest I find their bullying of this family to be very anti-family and anti-society. I think these “leaders” should concentrate on doing actual charitable work, actually doing good in society instead of picking on this family. Let the family live and let live.
The MSF should be in the business of helping people to build strong families, I see a strong potential father, the MSF should have helped him and not hindered his fatherhood journey. This is why I think the initial decision by the MSF to reject the adoption was wrong, to deny the creation of a family was wrong, to deny the child that family was wrong. The rights of the child to be part of that loving family outweigh whatever concerns some people might have about the father’s sexuality. In short, sexuality does not affect the ability of someone to be a good parent. I’m glad the court realised this and reversed the MSF decision.
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