2,015 reasons to vote PAP – according to NDR2015

So, NDR2015 happened and there is the undoubted scent of electioneering lingering after care-taker Prime Minister (because Parliament has been dissolved) Lee Hsien Loong gave the performance of his career on Sunday night.

Maybe the Media Development Authority should look at classifying the footage as a party-political film since it was so well scripted with truly tear-jerking moments that even brought one audience member to her feet. In any case, if you still didn’t quite capture the message, here are the 2,015 reasons why you should vote PAP come 9/11.

#1 – Lee Kuan Yew, what else

NDR2015 parade2 PMO

As Lee Hsien Loong said, “Now HE is no longer here, we are on our own, but we are ready.” Obviously the founding father of modern Singapore is so incredibly great, his party is by default so incredibly great, and therefore by extension his son as the premier is so incredibly great. Vote PAP and PM Lee, what else!

#2 – Kit Chan made us crai

NDR2015 Kit Chan PMO

You must be living under a rock if you do not agree that Kit Chan rawks. And to have her open for Lee Hsien Loong’s act, well there is simply no better way to start the concert, election campaign, rally of the half-century! Ignore the apathetic audience during the performance who simply refused to be swept up in the moment, stand up and sing “Home” in solidarity. You know where your allegiance lies – with Kit, with PM, vote PAP!

#3 – Real issues be damned, it’s The Feels that count

 

NDR2015 audience PMO

Don’t listen to the harlots who think that immigration and cost of living are still issues of concern. This is the PAP we are talking about, and as Lee Hsien Loong said, this GE – in fact, every GE – is about “choosing the team that will work with you for the next 15 to 20 years”. And because the PAP has been working for you the past 50 years, you can be sure they are the best choice to work for you the next 50 years. A good machine never breaks down! Vote for the tried and tested, vote PAP!

#4 – Vivian Balakrishnan

NDR2015 Vivian B PMO

Trail blazer, haze dissipater, ceiling inspector. The Environment Minister has done such great service for the PAP campaign that Lee Hsien Loong saw fit to single him out for praise. He was apparently one of only two Friends of the Chair of some United Nations committee on the environment, the job of which was to put together… Never mind, he puts up stuff about the environment to the PM that most of us, even the PM himself, can’t make sense of. He does stuff! Vote Vivian Balakrishnan, vote PAP!

#5 – Lim Swee Say

NDR2015 Lim Swee Say PMO

Manpower broker, CPF perception reformer, list maker, ultimate optimist. The current Manpower Minister and former trade union chief goes to the International Labour Conference every year to talk about the Singapore model – the three Ds, the three Fs, the three Ps… At this point, if you aren’t convinced the man deserves three cheers, then honestly… Vote Lim Swee Say, vote PAP!

#6 – Lee Kuan Yew

NDR2015 LKY funeral PMO

In case the first and most important mention is not enough, here it is again. And to be honest, this is the least we can do since Lee Hsien Loong saw fit to invoke the name of his maker repeatedly. And let’s not forget those seven days of national mourning, so let’s pull out the pictures so that we can see more of Mr Lee Kuan Yew (not in a Seventh Month creepy kinda way). Because as Lee Hsien Loong said, “Now we don’t have to find words and struggle to define the Singapore spirit… Now we know that we are Singaporean.” Vote LKY, vote PAP!

#7 – National Day Parade and the flag-waving PAP MPs

NDR2015 parade1 PMO

Defence, unity, colourful (but whitewashed) stuff. Nothing like pulling out pics of the PAP-led National Day Parade to make you feel all patriotic to the one true party, always hovering over your heads and thinking of you. Vote for strong deterrence against the unreal aggressors, vote flag-waving PAP MPs!

#8 – Worried Ministers

NDR2015 ministers PMO

What, you think those looks are for their vote-count this coming GE? They are concerned about your future, your life, ok! This picture alone, as Lee Hsien Loong was going on and on with his speech, is enough for you to want to vote any PAP Minister!

#9 – Cheaper (HDB flats), Better (fathers), Faster (baby production)

NDR 2015 housing

And who can possibly resist the election carrot of endless promises! Never mind the half-wits who predict that PM Lee’s proposals and policies will not reduce the cost of HDB flats. Take the subsidies, the paternity leave, the baby bonus, be assured that your lives will be rosier from here on, and you can go forth and multiply. Vote productivity, vote PAP!

#10 – PM needs your Mandate

and we did PM Lee

Yes, because the man said so. Give him your vote, like now!

#11 – Lee Kuan Yew in the 1950s

#12 – Lee Kuan Yew in the 1960s

#13 – Lee Kuan Yew in the 1970s

#14 – Lee Kuan Yew in the 1980s

#15 – Lee Kuan Yew in the 1990s

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#1,923 – For those who still don’t get the drift, you need spurs stuck in your hides. Repent, and read to the last reason!

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#2,015 – Lee Kuan Yew Forever!