Commentaries
Meet Mistress Minky
Enter a room filled with about 30 to 40 men and women. It is early in the night and they are chatting amongst themselves, some are a bit shy. Only a little alcohol is consumed; everyone knows there is an unwritten rule that drunken behavior will not be tolerated.
As the night wears on, people start to relax, loosen up. A man takes out some ropes and starts to tie up a woman in an elaborate network of knots that form a beautiful pattern on her body, known as shibari, a Japanese style of rope tying. A woman in a loose dress and bare feet flogs a man, and when she is done with him she moves on to another man. This is Mistress Minky, and this is one of her private parties.
She is 33 years old, Chinese, works in real estate and has a hand in some other small businesses, has a boyfriend and lives with her mother in Sengkang. She is also bisexual, a key figure in the BDSM community in Singapore and a dominatrix.
BDSM (the term loosely stands for Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism and Masochism) is a sexual practice that encompasses activities and relationships that revolve around participants taking on complementary but unequal roles, like dominants and submissives. The activities are wide ranging; some of the more popular include the use of restraints such as ropes and cuffs, creating sensory deprivation with the use of blindfolds and gags, anal play and candle wax play. Relationships can be same sex or heterosexual and can also include transgender.
While this practice is underground in many countries, it has also been around a long time and is very established in places like Japan, the United States and several European countries. In Singapore, the BDSM community is relatively new, but is growing gradually. A major BDSM group here, sgdomsub, which Mistress Minky is a senior moderator of, had 2,000 members sign up in the last five years.
“We have people from all walks of life,” says Minky. “Our youngest members are about 18 years old, the oldest are in their 50s, and they range from being students to very senior people in the corporate world.”
BDSM is sometimes extreme and so, often misunderstood. People think it’s sick or perverted, or driven by aggression. “In fact,” explains Minky, “everything that happens in BDSM in consensual. A dominant cannot do things to a submissive that the submissive did not agree to beforehand. For BDSM to work well, the parties involved need to feel completely safe with each other, trust each other, and know when to let go.” I remarked that these are the very qualities you need in any healthy relationship. Precisely, she replies.
“Pre-play negotiation is very important,” continues Minky, “especially if you are playing with someone for the first time. We ask about injuries, what people are prepared to explore and what their limits are, and try not to go there, at least not in the first session. As the trust builds, most people break their limits a bit.”
Minky prefers to restrains her submissives using ropes. “What I can achieve with a single rope, like tying someone’s hands apart or tying wrists to ankles, would take a few cuffs and chains to do,” she says matter-of-factly.
Her ropes are ordered online from BDSM suppliers overseas. A good set of ropes costs roughly USD200, and you get about eight ropes for that. They are made of natural fibres like jute or hemp, which are strong and at the same time soft enough on the skin.
Inflicting pain on her submissives is part of her role as a dominant, and she finds all kinds of ways to do it. “The most extreme thing I’ve done is urethra play,” she says cheekily. “It involves inserting a surgical stick into a penis. Done correctly, it can give a lot of pleasure.” These sticks are special BDSM sticks, modelled after medical supplies. A basic pack of sticks range from size one to 10, one being the smallest. Most penises, shares Minky, take about a size three to four.
“The aim,” she explains, “is to give a high. Sometimes a bit of pain can take you even higher.” Her submissives don’t necessarily get to orgasm though; they can only do so if she allows them to. “Their job,” she says, “is to please me.”
“To create this experience, you use all of your concentration; it is exciting, fulfilling and can be more than sex. There is a lot of mind play that requires some imagination,” she elaborates. Intercourse is only a very minor part of BDSM.
So just knowing how to crack a whip is not enough. The success of a BDSM relationship or experience depends on how perceptive you are, how well you read and understand the other person intuitively—which is key because one person is often immobilized and may be also gagged. The use of safe words and safe objects are essential, especially in a new BDSM relationship, but, says Minky, “As you become experienced, you learn to read facial expressions and body language, and know when to go further and when to stop.”
Safe sex is non-negotiable. ““We are huge consumers of condoms,” stresses Minky. “We have them at our parties and use them on all our penetrative sex toys, like vibrators and probes. Hygiene and safety is of utmost importance.”
Getting into one of Minky’s parties is strictly by invitation only. She was hushed up about where her parties are held, to protect their privacy and freedom. “We don’t want anyone clamping down on us,” she says.
But sgdomsub holds monthly events, known as Munches, which are open to all. They are casual gatherings in bars or other venues — past munches have been at Does Your Mother Know and Taboo, both bars on Neil Road — where sgdomsub’s main figures share some of their techniques. A typical Munch sees about 30 people, a mix of regulars and newcomers.
Munches are also where sgdomsub screens people for their parties. If they are comfortable with you, they might invite you. But if they think you are just out to get an easy lay, they certainly won’t.
And if you do go to a party, you are expected to observe the golden rule of respecting others at all times. Get drunk, start a fight, abuse someone or touch someone without their permission — and you will be booted out and never invited back.
There are very few BDSM teachers Singapore. And because Minky is so passionate about this practice, she has decided to step up and become one. To this end she has started a BDSM academy called Kinky Wonderland. Meant for newbies, this academy will teach BDSM skills and educate people about this practice. It will explain things like why people like to be blindfolded, teach you how to use ropes and toys, and the role of safe words and safe objects. There will also be toys available from a local merchant.
Over the course of my conservation with Minky, I begin to understand that BDSM is really about stimulating the mind and the senses, expressed through consensual power play. It is an erotic, cerebral dance between partners; it is a sensual and intellectual embrace. To do it well you need to be highly intelligent, creative and comfortable with yourself, your body and your sexuality. It is an art form that combines beauty and pain, and pathos. I started off not knowing much about BDSM but ended up full of respect for it.
To find out more about or join sgdomsub, visit their website and register.
Munches take places on the last Thursday of every month.
A preview to Kinky Wonderland will take place on 19 Dec at The Sultan, 101 Jalan Sultan; 7.30-9.30pm; $25 if you book ahead online, $30 at the door. Held in conjunction with Eros Coaching.
Commentaries
Lim Tean criticizes Govt’s rejection of basic income report, urges Singaporeans to rethink election choices
Lim Tean, leader of Peoples Voice (PV), criticizes the government’s defensive response to the basic living income report, accusing it of avoiding reality.
He calls on citizens to assess affordability and choose MPs who can truly enhance their lives in the upcoming election.
SINGAPORE: A recently published report, “Minimum Income Standard 2023: Household Budgets in a Time of Rising Costs,” unveils figures detailing the necessary income households require to maintain a basic standard of living, using the Minimum Income Standard (MIS) method.
The newly released study, spearheaded by Dr Ng Kok Hoe of the Lee Kuan Yew School of Public Policy (LKYSPP) specifically focuses on working-age households in 2021 and presents the latest MIS budgets, adjusted for inflation from 2020 to 2022.
The report detailed that:
- The “reasonable starting point” for a living wage in Singapore was S$2,906 a month.
- A single parent with a child aged two to six required S$3,218 per month.
- Partnered parents with two children, one aged between seven and 12 and the other between 13 and 18, required S$6,426 a month.
- A single elderly individual required S$1,421 a month.
- Budgets for both single and partnered parent households averaged around S$1,600 per member. Given recent price inflation, these figures have risen by up to 5% in the current report.
Singapore Govt challenges MIS 2023 report’s representation of basic needs
Regrettably, on Thursday (14 Sept), the Finance Ministry (MOF), Manpower Ministry (MOM), and Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF) jointly issued a statement dismissing the idea suggested by the report, claiming that minimum household income requirements amid inflation “might not accurately reflect basic needs”.
Instead, they claimed that findings should be seen as “what individuals would like to have.”, and further defended their stances for the Progressive Wage Model (PWM) and other measures to uplift lower-wage workers.
The government argued that “a universal wage floor is not necessarily the best way” to ensure decent wages for lower-wage workers.
The government’s statement also questions the methodology of the Minimum Income Standards (MIS) report, highlighting limitations such as its reliance on respondent profiles and group dynamics.
“The MIS approach used is highly dependent on respondent profiles and on group dynamics. As the focus groups included higher-income participants, the conclusions may not be an accurate reflection of basic needs.”
The joint statement claimed that the MIS approach included discretionary expenditure items such as jewellery, perfumes, and overseas holidays.
Lim Tean slams Government’s response to basic living income report
In response to the government’s defensive reaction to the recent basic living income report, Lim Tean, leader of the alternative party Peoples Voice (PV), strongly criticizes the government’s apparent reluctance to confront reality, stating, “It has its head buried in the sand”.
He strongly questioned the government’s endorsement of the Progressive Wage Model (PWM) as a means to uplift the living standards of the less fortunate in Singapore, describing it as a misguided approach.
In a Facebook video on Friday (15 Sept), Lim Tean highlighted that it has become a global norm, especially in advanced and first-world countries, to establish a minimum wage, commonly referred to as a living wage.
“Everyone is entitled to a living wage, to have a decent life, It is no use boasting that you are one of the richest countries in the world that you have massive reserves, if your citizens cannot have a decent life with a decent living wage.”
Lim Tean cited his colleague, Leong Sze Hian’s calculations, which revealed a staggering 765,800 individuals in Singapore, including Permanent Residents and citizens, may not earn the recommended living wage of $2,906, as advised by the MIS report.
“If you take away the migrant workers or the foreign workers, and take away those who do not work, underage, are children you know are unemployed, and the figure is staggering, isn’t it?”
“You know you are looking at a very substantial percentage of the workforce that do not have sufficient income to meet basic needs, according to this report.”
He reiterated that the opposition parties, including the People’s Voice and the People’s Alliance, have always called for a minimum wage, a living wage which the government refuses to countenance.
Scepticism about the government’s ability to control rising costs
In a time of persistently high inflation, Lim Tean expressed skepticism about the government’s ability to control rising costs.
He cautioned against believing in predictions of imminent inflation reduction and lower interest rates below 2%, labeling them as unrealistic.
Lim Tean urged Singaporeans to assess their own affordability in these challenging times, especially with the impending GST increase.
He warned that a 1% rise in GST could lead to substantial hikes in everyday expenses, particularly food prices.
Lim Tean expressed concern that the PAP had become detached from the financial struggles of everyday Singaporeans, citing their high salaries and perceived insensitivity to the common citizen’s plight.
Lim Tean urges Singaporeans to rethink election choices
Highlighting the importance of the upcoming election, Lim Tean recommended that citizens seriously evaluate the affordability of their lives.
“If you ask yourself about affordability, you will realise that you have no choice, In the coming election, but to vote in a massive number of opposition Members of Parliament, So that they can make a difference.”
Lim Tean emphasized the need to move beyond the traditional notion of providing checks and balances and encouraged voters to consider who could genuinely improve their lives.
“To me, the choice is very simple. It is whether you decide to continue with a life, that is going to become more and more expensive: More expensive housing, higher cost of living, jobs not secure because of the massive influx of foreign workers,” he declared.
“Or you choose members of Parliament who have your interests at heart and who want to make your lives better.”
Commentaries
Political observers call for review of Singapore’s criteria of Presidential candidates and propose 5 year waiting period for political leaders
Singaporean political observers express concern over the significantly higher eligibility criteria for private-sector presidential candidates compared to public-sector candidates, calling for adjustments.
Some also suggest a five year waiting period for aspiring political leaders after leaving their party before allowed to partake in the presidential election.
Notably, The Workers’ Party has earlier reiterated its position that the current qualification criteria favor PAP candidates and has called for a return to a ceremonial presidency instead of an elected one.
While the 2023 Presidential Election in Singapore concluded on Friday (1 September), discussions concerning the fairness and equity of the electoral system persist.
Several political observers contend that the eligibility criteria for private-sector individuals running for president are disproportionately high compared to those from the public sector, and they propose that adjustments be made.
They also recommend a five-year waiting period for aspiring political leaders after leaving their party before being allowed to participate in the presidential election.
Aspiring entrepreneur George Goh Ching Wah, announced his intention to in PE 2023 in June. However, His application as a candidate was unsuccessful, he failed to receive the Certificate of Eligibility (COE) on 18 August.
Mr Goh had expressed his disappointment in a statement after the ELD’s announcement, he said, the Presidential Elections Committee (PEC) took a very narrow interpretation of the requirements without explaining the rationale behind its decision.
As per Singapore’s Constitution, individuals running for the presidency from the private sector must have a minimum of three years’ experience as a CEO in a company.
This company should have consistently maintained an average shareholders’ equity of at least S$500 million and sustained profitability.
Mr Goh had pursued eligibility through the private sector’s “deliberative track,” specifically referring to section 19(4)(b)(2) of the Singapore Constitution.
He pointed out five companies he had led for over three years, collectively claiming a shareholders’ equity of S$1.521 billion.
Notably, prior to the 2016 revisions, the PEC might have had the authority to assess Mr Goh’s application similarly to how it did for Mr Tan Jee Say in the 2011 Presidential Election.
Yet, in its current formulation, the PEC is bound by the definitions laid out in the constitution.
Calls for equitable standards across public and private sectors
According to Singapore’s Chinese media outlet, Shin Min Daily News, Dr Felix Tan Thiam Kim, a political analyst at Nanyang Technological University (NTU) Singapore, noted that in 2016, the eligibility criteria for private sector candidates were raised from requiring them to be executives of companies with a minimum capital of S$100 million to CEOs of companies with at least S$500 million in shareholder equity.
However, the eligibility criteria for public sector candidates remained unchanged. He suggests that there is room for adjusting the eligibility criteria for public sector candidates.
Associate Professor Bilver Singh, Deputy Head of the Department of Political Science at the National University of Singapore, believes that the constitutional requirements for private-sector individuals interested in running are excessively stringent.
He remarked, “I believe it is necessary to reassess the relevant regulations.”
He points out that the current regulations are more favourable for former public officials seeking office and that the private sector faces notably greater challenges.
“While it may be legally sound, it may not necessarily be equitable,” he added.
Proposed five-year waiting period for political leaders eyeing presidential race
Moreover, despite candidates severing ties with their political parties in pursuit of office, shedding their political affiliations within a short timeframe remains a challenging endeavour.
A notable instance is Mr Tharman Shanmugaratnam, who resigned from the People’s Action Party (PAP) just slightly over a month before announcing his presidential candidacy, sparking considerable debate.
During a live broadcast, his fellow contender, Ng Kok Song, who formerly served as the Chief Investment Officer of GIC, openly questioned Mr Tharman’s rapid transition to a presidential bid shortly after leaving his party and government.
Dr Felix Tan suggests that in the future, political leaders aspiring to run for the presidency should not only resign from their parties but also adhere to a mandatory waiting period of at least five years before entering the race.
Cherian George and Kevin Y.L. Tan: “illogical ” to raise the corporate threshold in 2016
Indeed, the apprehension regarding the stringent eligibility criteria and concerns about fairness in presidential candidacy requirements are not limited to political analysts interviewed by Singapore’s mainstream media.
Prior to PE2023, CCherian George, a Professor of media studies at Hong Kong Baptist University, and Kevin Y.L. Tan, an Adjunct Professor at both the Faculty of Law of the National University of Singapore and the NTU’s S. Rajaratnam School of International Studies (RSIS), brought attention to the challenges posed by the qualification criteria for candidates vying for the Singaporean Presidency.
In their article titled “Why Singapore’s Next Elected President Should be One of its Last,” the scholars discussed the relevance of the current presidential election system in Singapore and floated the idea of returning to an appointed President, emphasizing the symbolic and unifying role of the office.
They highlighted that businessman George Goh appeared to be pursuing the “deliberative track” for qualification, which requires candidates to satisfy the PEC that their experience and abilities are comparable to those of a typical company’s chief executive with shareholder equity of at least S$500 million.
Mr Goh cobbles together a suite of companies under his management to meet the S$500m threshold.
The article also underscored the disparities between the eligibility criteria for candidates from the public and private sectors, serving as proxies for evaluating a candidate’s experience in handling complex financial matters.
“It is hard to see what financial experience the Chairman of the Public Service Commission or for that matter, the Chief Justice has, when compared to a Minister or a corporate chief.”
“The raising of the corporate threshold in 2016 is thus illogical and serves little purpose other than to simply reduce the number of potentially eligible candidates.”
The article also touches upon the issue of candidates’ independence from political parties, particularly the ruling People’s Action Party (PAP).
It mentions that candidates are expected to be non-partisan and independent, and it questions how government-backed candidates can demonstrate their independence given their previous affiliations.
The Workers’ Party advocate for a return to a ceremonial presidency
It comes as no surprise that Singapore’s alternative party, the Workers’ Party, reaffirmed its stance on 30 August, asserting that they believe the existing qualifying criteria for presidential candidates are skewed in favour of those approved by the People’s Action Party (PAP).
They argue that the current format of the elected presidency (EP) undermines the principles of parliamentary democracy.
“It also serves as an unnecessary source of gridlock – one that could potentially cripple a non-PAP government within its first term – and is an alternative power centre that could lead to political impasses.”
Consistently, the Workers’ Party has been vocal about its objection to the elected presidency and has consistently called for its abolition.
Instead, they advocate for a return to a ceremonial presidency, a position they have maintained for over three decades.
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