By Fikri Alkhatib

AWARE Op-ed for Coming Out Day

Since 1988, October 11 has been celebrated around the world as Coming Out Day. A day to celebrate the individuals who publicly identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ).

Marking the anniversary of the 1987 National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights in the US, October 11 is now commemorated internationally.

In Singapore, queer rights group Sayoni in August launched Come Out, Come Home (COuCH), a campaign encouraging LGBTQ persons in Singapore to be more open about their identities, and urging allies to make their support public. The campaign culminates in a community gathering on Coming Out Day.

couch

AWARE supports Coming Out Day and COuCH because we respect the right of individuals to live freely and happily as LGBTQ persons. Sexual orientation is just one facet of an individual, and it should not be the basis of any form of discrimination. While social norms are slowly changing, it continues to be difficult for many people to be open about their sexuality.

Numerous studies have shown that self-acceptance and disclosure greatly improve a person’s emotional and mental well-being. Acknowledging, naming and coming to terms with one’s sexual orientation and gender identity can be empowering and affirming. For the LGBTQ person, there is often relief and strength in shedding the burden of hiding a significant part of themselves.

As more LGBTQ people are open about their identities and experiences, it awakens people to the reality that LGBTQ people are people they interact with every day, possibly members of their families or work communities.

However, there is only so much that coming out can do. We must be mindful that some homophobia and transphobia stems not from ignorance but from ideology – believing the existence or behaviour of LGBTQ people to be morally wrong. Increased public visibility is likely to aggravate factions that subscribe to this view.

More importantly, coming out is not without personal consequences, which can be devastating. LGBTQ people, especially those who are financially or otherwise dependent on others, face the risk of rejection, neglect, and even physical and emotional violence upon disclosing their identities.

For far too many people, coming out is the opposite of coming home. We still lack the resources to support those for whom stepping out of the closet means compromising safety and security. A movement centred on “coming out” requires more than political rhetoric: we need to actively build safe, supportive environments in which coming out becomes a realistic, desirable and autonomous choice.

At the same time, we must respect the choices of those who can come out but do not wish to. Concepts of gender and sexuality, and how they influence our interactions and relationships with others, vary across persons and cultures – one might not specifically identify with commonly used labels like “lesbian” or “transgender,” for example, or believe this to be a strictly private affair. We should recognise that coming out is not a necessary part of the queer narrative, just a popular one. It is important to a lot of people, but not to everyone.

COuCH is a commendable milestone campaign putting real faces to one of the most polarising issues of the day, bearing in mind the caveats outlined here. Coming out is personal and political.

This is just a start: coming out, for those who are able and willing to do so, is not a one-off action but rather part of a lifelong process navigating private and public identities, relationships, and politics. Coming Out Day, and COuCH, will hopefully inspire a move towards realising a society in which LGBTQ people can proactively and visibly claim their identities without fear of harm or discrimination.

Note – a line in the article was deleted at the request of the writer.

Subscribe
Notify of
0 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
You May Also Like

Coalition of convenience will not make minor opposition parties electable

by Ajay While I support the opposition cause, I am not impressed…

Delayed CFE report released with seven key strategies for Singapore economic future

The Committee on the Future Economy (CFE) is a 30-member committee comprising…

【冠状病毒19】闻讯后多方求助 女儿成功越堤与病母相聚

慈爱母亲不愿在离世时麻烦到在我国工作的女儿,选择默默离开,而女儿在接获亲属通知后,百般求助才回到家和母亲见最后一面,令闻者落泪。 马来西亚民主行动党士都兰州议员曾笳恩,今天(8月5日)在脸书上帖文,分享这感人却又心酸的一幕。 他指出,居住在古来的张女士(Madam Chong译音)是一名癌症四期患者,然而生命最后时刻选择默默离开,在办理好后事之后,才托人通知在我国工作的女儿,蔡小姐(Cik Chia译音)。 然而,蔡小姐在接获亲属告知有关消息后,就开始着手回乡的申请。 帖文中指出,依据目前修复马国行动管制令(RMCO)的措施,隔离者只有在亲人离世后,才能回来奔丧,而探病、探亲的申请都不受理的。 “然而,我们一直坚信,严格程序的种种把关,必有情理共存之处。” 在多名当地官员的帮助下,蔡小姐终于在昨天深夜回到新山,和母亲相聚了两小时。“母女相逢的瞬间,大家都哭了。” 他在帖文中也感谢古来国会议员张念群、特别助理黄勃扬、士乃区州议员郑凯聪、圣约翰救伤队新山区指挥官吴奕品医生及其团队、新山县长阿都拉曼和民防部队指挥官法理兹。 在帖文尾端,他也提醒道“法理人情需并存,才不致遗憾的出现”。 有关帖文获得超过1800个反应,197人转发,不少网民都表示感谢相关单位的付出,并希望当前冠状病毒19疫情可以尽快结束。

Letter: Remains to be seen if Singapore will emerge relatively unscathed

by Judy Tan I refer to the latest announcement made by Lawrence…