A Valentine’s Day tribute to my lovely wife, Doris Lau Siew Lang

“The most beautiful things in the world are not seen nor touched.

They are felt with the heart.”

– Helen Keller –

The well-known caption above by deaf and blind prolific American author, lecturer and political activist has given me the strength, courage and conviction to stay loyal and committed to my wife – Doris Lau, who was stricken with schizophrenia at the early age of 17. Undoubtedly, my love for Doris has helped a great deal in her coping skills. Certainly, the powerful message of love is ingrained in the celebration of Valentine’s Day.

Valentine’s Day is an annual commemoration held every year on February 14 to celebrate love and affection. This special day is named after one or more early Christian martyrs named Valentine and was established by Pope Gelasius in 500AD.

Valentine’s Day for me is so special because I was born on 14th February. Doris always look forward to celebrating this happy day with me. Although she does not cook everyday because of her arthritis condition that leaves her mobility somewhat impaired, she will make extra effort to whip up my favourite dish on that special day- chilli crabs, which she cooks very well. Perhaps, that is why that’s why some people tease that “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”.

Despite knowing well that the journey in caring for Doris is going to be a long and difficult journey, I made a decision to marry her 35 years ago because I wanted to give her a better quality of life. To be able to proof to her and all those in her condition that “love heals”. People with mental illness can cope with the illness if they seek treatment, take their medications faithfully and have strong emotional support. I fervently believe that love forms an important component in the recovery of persons struggling with mental illness.

But giving love to our spouse or family members should not end there. We can cast our nets wider and give love to the poor, the marginalised communities, the man who has been retrenched from his job, the children who go hungry on the hour-by the hour, the depressed, the lonely elderly, the sick and others who have fallen by the wayside.

There is one unique way to further “infect” every citizen of this country and perhaps the whole world using the power of love – A Love Siren. A love siren can be sounded off on the island every 14th February. Once this siren goes off, people can pause for a moment to think of how the healing power of love can change lives- for the better. In time to come, love for another human being through this proposed Love Siren concept, will come naturally.

I would like to close this article with a poem that I wrote last year, with my wife in mind – entitled “Our Twilight years”. I wish all our readers a “Happy Valentine’s Day 2011”.

Poem: Our Twilight years

When I am old and Grey

In good health and mind, I want to stay

I want to be able to breathe fresh air

I want my beloved wife, Doris, to always be there

I do not want to be overcome by fear

With God, I want to be near

I want to teach children to be kind and understanding

I want children to grow up loving and caring

With my wife by my side, we will reflect on our special years

Moments in which Doris and I

Shared laughter and tears

We will appreciate the music of Mantovani

We will admire nature, knowing that the best things in life are free

In my twilight years, I will write more poetry

I will be worry free

I will paint, I will write

Together with Doris, we will gaze at the stars at night

Always, we will keep God in sight

In retirement, I will be rid of office politics

No more pressing deadlines, no more falling sick

I will meditate to find inner peace

With God and my lovely wife by my side

Our last journey through life will be a breeze

Sincerely,

Raymond Anthony Fernando

Subscribe
Notify of
0 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
You May Also Like

Ex-SAF Chief Infantry Officer BG (NS) Winston Toh to head Tower Transit bus operator

The Tower Transit Group announced on Fri (18 Jan) that it has…

PIE高架桥坍塌事件:胡氏父子均任基层领袖

昨日(31日),涉及泛岛快速公路(PIE)高架桥坍塌事件的主要承包商,胡金标建筑私人有限公司(Or Kim Peow Contractors (Pte) Ltd)的51岁董事经理胡土发(Or Toh Wat)被撤销指控,事缘人力部(MOM)和新加坡建设局(BCA)于审判的前一天发出有条件警告。 抵触《建筑管制法令》,可面对20万元或最高两年有期徒刑,或两者兼施;另外在未经批准下进行工程,亦将判处20万元或1年有期徒刑,或两者兼施;而第三项指控则据《工作场所安全与卫生法令》,将判20万元或最高两年有期徒刑,或两者兼施。 而早前胡土发获人力部和新加坡建设局的有条件警告,对于三项指控均予以撤销了。然而,另外三名涉及此案而被起诉的人,将按照之前的计划进行审判。 而负责该项目的合格核查师(accredited checker),61岁的梁邵宏(译音)已在本月被判监禁六个月。…

Heng Swee Keat: Sharp rise of government expenditure on healthcare in next three to five years

Finance Minister Heng Swee Keat told reporters after a tour of Changi General…

【舆论】新加坡公民参与的“黑洞”

作者:Kathy Xu “想象一下,如果有人突然不停钻入你家的墙上,让你家出现一个洞,而你无法阻止它。你试着告诉他然后阻止,可是无论你说什么,似乎都听不进听不懂。钻洞的噪音和浑浊的水不断涌入充斥在你家,把其他比你更弱小的家也摧毁了。你顿时会感到无助,似乎没有人在意你说的话,也不理解或关心你,你的家人或其他不情愿的难民向你诉说恐惧。” 虽然以上情景只是一种比喻,但它却可能发生在建设跨岛线时,那些居住在中央集水区自然保护区边缘的弱小动物。 当我在2013年第一次听到有关计划要在中央集水区自然保护区建设跨岛线时,我感到无比担心。 作为一个自然爱好者,我担心这会影响了原始和次生林,还有野生动物。威尔森和我真的很开心能够看见一些环保团体如NUS Toddycats和Cicada Trees在麦里芝森林(MacRitchie forests)建设步行道,让更多人能够更照顾该地区。 我们也在2016年签署一份请愿书,对中央集水区自然保护区内的跨岛线建设工程提出上诉,并将其呈交至陆路交通管理局。 2013年至2019年间,麦里芝保护区不断引进自然步道,还组织了跨岛线工作组,让环保团体与住在中央集水区自然保护区边缘的居民参与闭门会议。 在数次的会议以及两个阶段的环境影响评估,同时也纳入了各种环保团体的意见,得出的好消息是,陆交局愿意听取环保团体的意见,两个环境影响评估工作皆采取了严格的缓解措施,如大幅度减少为中央集水区自然保护区土壤评估而要钻取的钻孔数量。…